Communication and Conflict Resolution Skills
Edition: 3
Copyright: 2020
Edition: 3
Copyright: 2020
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In a new and significantly expanded third edition, Communication & Conflict Resolution Skills provides practical applications for enhancing communication and personal or professional leadership effectiveness. Engaging, user-friendly material will assist in building skills, improving relationships, and utilizing effective problem solving at work, at home, and in your communities. Instructors, students and trainers can use this book as a textbook, a handy “go-to” reference, or as a workbook to supplement workshops and learning experiences in communication and conflict management.
This book presents immediately applicable knowledge and skills in a series of small, understandable units that the reader can practice, master, and use as building blocks to enhance interpersonal and group success. Topics include:
- Learning and Skill Development – understand the critical components and steps in acquiring the core conflict resolution competencies.
- Information Sharing — learn to identify personal outcomes in communication and the outcomes of others. Establish and maintain rapport, and use language effectively to ensure that the message is accurate and clear.
- Reflective Listening — develop the ability to clearly hear what another is communicating and understand what is being said at both the content and feeling level.
- Problem Solving — formulate accurate problem statements, clarify problems, and facilitate the problem solving of others. The skills of transferal and referral are also covered.
- Assertion — communicate thoughts, feelings, and concerns directly in a way that does not damage self-esteem or endanger the relationship.
- Conflict Resolution — develop skills of conflict awareness, styles recognition, diagnosis, and interest-based negotiation. Learn two processes and models for addressing conflicts of resources and/or values.
Abundant exercises, self-assessments, role-plays, and chapter objectives and summaries are included to promote understanding and skill development.
This third edition now incorporates current research articles and reference links in every chapter so the reader can go beyond the material presented in the text for a more global perspective on communication and conflict resolution skills.
In addition, it is packaged with access to the KHQ, a user-friendly, self-testing application available on the iTunes and Google Play store. It includes questions based on the content in the publication and gives students feedback and explanations on answers.
Acknowledgments
Preface
Introduction
1 Learning and Skill Development
Skill Learning
Skill Practice
Skill Development Stages
Trust
Summary
2 Communication and Information Sharing
Outcomes
Information Sharing
Rapport
Sensory Acuity and Representational Systems
Visual
Auditory
Kinesthetic
Flexibility
Congruence
Integrity
Skill Area Selection
Primary Role of Emotions
Questions to Facilitate Information Sharing
Summary
3 Reflective Listening: Attending and Responding
Door Openers
Active Listening
Reflective Listening
Attending Skills
Responding Skills
The Reflecting Process
Reflecting Content
Reflecting Feelings
Reflecting Meaning
Summarizing
Communication Leads
When to Use-and-Not Use Reflective Listening
High-Risk/Reactive Responses
The Context
The Dialogue
Summary
Instructions for the Following Exercises Utilizing the “Training Wheel” Formula
4 Problem-Solving
Seven-Step Problem-Solving Process
Problem Clarification
Problem Interview Tips
Referral/Transferal
Summary
5 Assertion and Managing the Agreement
Assertion
Desired Results of Assertion
Personal Space
Submissive, Aggressive, and Assertive Behavior
Assertion Continuum
Choosing Behaviors
Assertion Messages
Simple Assertion Messages
Three-Part Assertion Messages
The Assertion Sequence
The Four-Part Assertion Sequence
Message Formulation
Describe the Behavior
Describe Your Feelings
Describe the Negative Effect on Your Life
Message Sending
Emotional Energy
Altering the Three-Part Assertion Message
Assertion Difficulties
Physical Components of Assertion
Handling Difficult Assertion Defenses
Skilled Alternatives to High Risk/Reactive Responses
Summary
6 Conflict Styles
Conflict
Three Schools of Thought
Ambivalence Toward Conflict
Exposure and Experience
Social Barriers to Conflict Management
Interdependence
Emotions in Conflict Situations
Positive Results of Conflict
Negative Results of Conflict
Expressions of Conflict
A Two-Dimensional Model of Conflict
Conflict Management Style
Conflict Management Style: Survey I
Section 1: Survey 1
Section 2: Scoring
Conflict Management Style: Survey II
Conflict Management Style: Survey III
Conflict Outcomes
Characteristics Associated with the Forcing Styles
Characteristics Associated with the Win–win, Collaborative Style
Forcing and Win–win Social Situations
Positive Attitudes Toward Conflict
Unconditional Positive Regard
Proactivity
Soft on People/Hard on the Problem
Unconditionally Constructive
Vision-Driven and Outcome-Oriented
Win–Win Frame of Reference
Openness and Respect for Diversity
Trust
Increased Autonomy
Growth and Development
Summary
7 Positions, Interests, Needs, & Values
Positions and Interests
Tangible Versus Intangible Interests
Strategies to Elicit Positions, Interests, Needs, and Values
Example Scenario: The Sabbatical Challenge
Summary
8 Conflict Resolution Models: Resources and Values Models
A Conflict Resolution Model
Conflict Resolution—Working Model
Conflict Resolution Model
Overall Frame
Respect and Integrity
Rapport
Resourcefulness
Positive Presuppositions
Stages of the Conflict Resolution Model
Stage 1: Awareness
Stage 2: Self-Preparation
Deciding on Your Outcome
Planning the Process
Stage 3: Managing the Conflict
Stage 4: Problem-Solving/Negotiation
Interest-Based Problem-Solving Process
Important Points to Remember in Problem-Solving
Suggestions for Breaking Deadlocks
What the Problem-Solving Approach Communicates
Is It a Resource Conflict or a Values Conflict or a Hybrid?
Some Distinctions among Resource and Values Conflicts
Resolving Conflicts of Resources—A Brief Example
The Role of Values in Conflict Resolution
Axiology: The Science of Values
What Is a Hierarchy of Values?
Historic Universal Hierarchy of Values Models
Hierarchy of Values: Prioritization
The Values Continuum
Working with Conflicts of Value
An Illustrative Case Utilizing the Conflict of Values Model
Values Summary
Bringing It All Together: A Case Study of a Conflict between Two Authors
The Authorship Dilemma
Summary
Afterword
Appendices
A. Role of Culture in Communication and Conflict Resolution
B. Meta-Model
C. Sample Responses to Reflective Skills Exercise I
D. Emotions/Feeling Words
E. Human Needs
F. Role-Play Exercises
Bibliography
Dr. Neil Katz is currently in his 48th year as a University Professor. After heading several conflict resolution academic and practice programs at Syracuse University, he has served as former chair and professor at the Department of Conflict Resolution at Nova Southeastern University (NSU) in Ft. Lauderdale. He is the author or co-author of 50 publications, is an active conflict consultant and trainer to groups and organizations in Leadership, Negotiation, Mediation and Emotional Intelligence, and heads his own consulting firm Neil Katz and Associates.
Neil has received several prestigious awards for his career long work including the Marlin Luther King Human Rights Award from the Syracuse community for his leadership in nonviolent conflict resolution, the William Kreidler Award for Distinguished Service to the field of Conflict Resolution from the Association of Conflict Resolution, and the Distinguished Professor of the Year Award from the College of Arts, Humanities and Social Sciences at NSU.
John Lawyer (Jack) is an organization development thought leader and practitioner, helping thousands of people and organizations. His authenticity, generosity and commitment have inspired people to build strong mission-driven institutions with engaged participants. He is the founder of Henneberry Hill Consultants, Inc.
Dr. Katherine Sosa is an Adjunct Professor for Syracuse University and an Organizational Development Specialist in a healthcare system of 14,000 employees. She is a certified mediator and has served as an OD consultant and trainer since 2012. She conducted research on the emotional and costly impact of workplace conflict, and co-authored two academic publications on organizational ombuds and one on experiential learning for conflict resolution students.
Dr. Marcia Sweedler has been involved in conflict resolution practice and systems design for over 30 years. A former elementary school teacher and principal, she is now retired from her higher education position at Nova Southeastern University as an Emeritus Professor.
Rev. Peter Tokar is Lead Pastor of the 1400-member Bridge Church in Miramar, FL. “Pastor Pete” has over 40 years of ministry experience as pastor, military and fire-rescue chaplain, and as an international speaker. He is currently a Ph.D. candidate in Conflict Analysis and Resolution at Nova Southeastern University. Peter is also a member of Phi Kappa Phi, one of the most prestigious by-invitation-only academic societies and a member of the Oxford Round Table, Oxford University, England.
In a new and significantly expanded third edition, Communication & Conflict Resolution Skills provides practical applications for enhancing communication and personal or professional leadership effectiveness. Engaging, user-friendly material will assist in building skills, improving relationships, and utilizing effective problem solving at work, at home, and in your communities. Instructors, students and trainers can use this book as a textbook, a handy “go-to” reference, or as a workbook to supplement workshops and learning experiences in communication and conflict management.
This book presents immediately applicable knowledge and skills in a series of small, understandable units that the reader can practice, master, and use as building blocks to enhance interpersonal and group success. Topics include:
- Learning and Skill Development – understand the critical components and steps in acquiring the core conflict resolution competencies.
- Information Sharing — learn to identify personal outcomes in communication and the outcomes of others. Establish and maintain rapport, and use language effectively to ensure that the message is accurate and clear.
- Reflective Listening — develop the ability to clearly hear what another is communicating and understand what is being said at both the content and feeling level.
- Problem Solving — formulate accurate problem statements, clarify problems, and facilitate the problem solving of others. The skills of transferal and referral are also covered.
- Assertion — communicate thoughts, feelings, and concerns directly in a way that does not damage self-esteem or endanger the relationship.
- Conflict Resolution — develop skills of conflict awareness, styles recognition, diagnosis, and interest-based negotiation. Learn two processes and models for addressing conflicts of resources and/or values.
Abundant exercises, self-assessments, role-plays, and chapter objectives and summaries are included to promote understanding and skill development.
This third edition now incorporates current research articles and reference links in every chapter so the reader can go beyond the material presented in the text for a more global perspective on communication and conflict resolution skills.
In addition, it is packaged with access to the KHQ, a user-friendly, self-testing application available on the iTunes and Google Play store. It includes questions based on the content in the publication and gives students feedback and explanations on answers.
Acknowledgments
Preface
Introduction
1 Learning and Skill Development
Skill Learning
Skill Practice
Skill Development Stages
Trust
Summary
2 Communication and Information Sharing
Outcomes
Information Sharing
Rapport
Sensory Acuity and Representational Systems
Visual
Auditory
Kinesthetic
Flexibility
Congruence
Integrity
Skill Area Selection
Primary Role of Emotions
Questions to Facilitate Information Sharing
Summary
3 Reflective Listening: Attending and Responding
Door Openers
Active Listening
Reflective Listening
Attending Skills
Responding Skills
The Reflecting Process
Reflecting Content
Reflecting Feelings
Reflecting Meaning
Summarizing
Communication Leads
When to Use-and-Not Use Reflective Listening
High-Risk/Reactive Responses
The Context
The Dialogue
Summary
Instructions for the Following Exercises Utilizing the “Training Wheel” Formula
4 Problem-Solving
Seven-Step Problem-Solving Process
Problem Clarification
Problem Interview Tips
Referral/Transferal
Summary
5 Assertion and Managing the Agreement
Assertion
Desired Results of Assertion
Personal Space
Submissive, Aggressive, and Assertive Behavior
Assertion Continuum
Choosing Behaviors
Assertion Messages
Simple Assertion Messages
Three-Part Assertion Messages
The Assertion Sequence
The Four-Part Assertion Sequence
Message Formulation
Describe the Behavior
Describe Your Feelings
Describe the Negative Effect on Your Life
Message Sending
Emotional Energy
Altering the Three-Part Assertion Message
Assertion Difficulties
Physical Components of Assertion
Handling Difficult Assertion Defenses
Skilled Alternatives to High Risk/Reactive Responses
Summary
6 Conflict Styles
Conflict
Three Schools of Thought
Ambivalence Toward Conflict
Exposure and Experience
Social Barriers to Conflict Management
Interdependence
Emotions in Conflict Situations
Positive Results of Conflict
Negative Results of Conflict
Expressions of Conflict
A Two-Dimensional Model of Conflict
Conflict Management Style
Conflict Management Style: Survey I
Section 1: Survey 1
Section 2: Scoring
Conflict Management Style: Survey II
Conflict Management Style: Survey III
Conflict Outcomes
Characteristics Associated with the Forcing Styles
Characteristics Associated with the Win–win, Collaborative Style
Forcing and Win–win Social Situations
Positive Attitudes Toward Conflict
Unconditional Positive Regard
Proactivity
Soft on People/Hard on the Problem
Unconditionally Constructive
Vision-Driven and Outcome-Oriented
Win–Win Frame of Reference
Openness and Respect for Diversity
Trust
Increased Autonomy
Growth and Development
Summary
7 Positions, Interests, Needs, & Values
Positions and Interests
Tangible Versus Intangible Interests
Strategies to Elicit Positions, Interests, Needs, and Values
Example Scenario: The Sabbatical Challenge
Summary
8 Conflict Resolution Models: Resources and Values Models
A Conflict Resolution Model
Conflict Resolution—Working Model
Conflict Resolution Model
Overall Frame
Respect and Integrity
Rapport
Resourcefulness
Positive Presuppositions
Stages of the Conflict Resolution Model
Stage 1: Awareness
Stage 2: Self-Preparation
Deciding on Your Outcome
Planning the Process
Stage 3: Managing the Conflict
Stage 4: Problem-Solving/Negotiation
Interest-Based Problem-Solving Process
Important Points to Remember in Problem-Solving
Suggestions for Breaking Deadlocks
What the Problem-Solving Approach Communicates
Is It a Resource Conflict or a Values Conflict or a Hybrid?
Some Distinctions among Resource and Values Conflicts
Resolving Conflicts of Resources—A Brief Example
The Role of Values in Conflict Resolution
Axiology: The Science of Values
What Is a Hierarchy of Values?
Historic Universal Hierarchy of Values Models
Hierarchy of Values: Prioritization
The Values Continuum
Working with Conflicts of Value
An Illustrative Case Utilizing the Conflict of Values Model
Values Summary
Bringing It All Together: A Case Study of a Conflict between Two Authors
The Authorship Dilemma
Summary
Afterword
Appendices
A. Role of Culture in Communication and Conflict Resolution
B. Meta-Model
C. Sample Responses to Reflective Skills Exercise I
D. Emotions/Feeling Words
E. Human Needs
F. Role-Play Exercises
Bibliography
Dr. Neil Katz is currently in his 48th year as a University Professor. After heading several conflict resolution academic and practice programs at Syracuse University, he has served as former chair and professor at the Department of Conflict Resolution at Nova Southeastern University (NSU) in Ft. Lauderdale. He is the author or co-author of 50 publications, is an active conflict consultant and trainer to groups and organizations in Leadership, Negotiation, Mediation and Emotional Intelligence, and heads his own consulting firm Neil Katz and Associates.
Neil has received several prestigious awards for his career long work including the Marlin Luther King Human Rights Award from the Syracuse community for his leadership in nonviolent conflict resolution, the William Kreidler Award for Distinguished Service to the field of Conflict Resolution from the Association of Conflict Resolution, and the Distinguished Professor of the Year Award from the College of Arts, Humanities and Social Sciences at NSU.
John Lawyer (Jack) is an organization development thought leader and practitioner, helping thousands of people and organizations. His authenticity, generosity and commitment have inspired people to build strong mission-driven institutions with engaged participants. He is the founder of Henneberry Hill Consultants, Inc.
Dr. Katherine Sosa is an Adjunct Professor for Syracuse University and an Organizational Development Specialist in a healthcare system of 14,000 employees. She is a certified mediator and has served as an OD consultant and trainer since 2012. She conducted research on the emotional and costly impact of workplace conflict, and co-authored two academic publications on organizational ombuds and one on experiential learning for conflict resolution students.
Dr. Marcia Sweedler has been involved in conflict resolution practice and systems design for over 30 years. A former elementary school teacher and principal, she is now retired from her higher education position at Nova Southeastern University as an Emeritus Professor.
Rev. Peter Tokar is Lead Pastor of the 1400-member Bridge Church in Miramar, FL. “Pastor Pete” has over 40 years of ministry experience as pastor, military and fire-rescue chaplain, and as an international speaker. He is currently a Ph.D. candidate in Conflict Analysis and Resolution at Nova Southeastern University. Peter is also a member of Phi Kappa Phi, one of the most prestigious by-invitation-only academic societies and a member of the Oxford Round Table, Oxford University, England.