"Don't Talk, Don't Feel, Don't Trust" and Family Systems Theory

Abstract

Alcoholism does not just affect the alcoholic, but every member of the family. This case study addresses the impact a mother’s alcohol use disorder has on the rest of the family system. The children and husband follow the alcoholic family rule of “don’t talk, don’t tell, don’t trust” with other family members, friends, school, and employer. This silence may be caused by the perceived stigma associated with alcoholism. Furthermore, stigma may cause family members to not receive the social support needed or desired to live with and love an alcoholic. When family members receive social support from a support organization such as Al-Anon or a counselor, they often learn that others also experience worry for a person with alcohol use disorder, and then they may begin to accept the situation and learn coping and management skills for self. At this time, family members will need to define their “new normal” relationship with the alcoholic.