This straightforward handbook covers various aspects of writing, from the start (receiving or developing a project), to the revision and submission process, and everything in between. Along with practical writing tips, F*ck The 5 Paragraph Essay also addresses rhetorical and contextual aspects significant to the composition process, such as audience awareness, overall purpose, and even how technology factors in (Eek! Not AI?!?).
Written in a no bull-shit style, this handbook is specifically designed for the average human-person who finds themselves in need of a little writing (and argument) guidance. Yes- specifically at the college level, but it’s also applicable to general writing and rhetorical scenarios outside of academia that we often find ourselves in.
While F*ck The 5 Paragraph Essay is ideal for Composition courses, it’s designed to help with writing across all disciplines. For instance, rather than outlining specific MLA formatting rules (which are commonly used in Composition courses), the formatting chapter discusses what formatting is, explains why it’s “a thing” at all, and contextualizes many of the reasons different disciplines make use of their preferred formatting styles.
Created to be an easily accessible resource guide for students at all levels, this text not only explains certain academic writing conventions but expands on why they are conventions in the first place. It offers to-the-point examples, intentionally written in a casual way that (hopefully) makes it that much more accessible for the average reader to actually, well, use. Which is, in fact, the goal- right?
Short Introduction
SECTION 1: Start the Shit
Chapter 1 Types of Writing/Purpose: WTF (What’s the Focus?)
Chapter 2 Get the Prompt: Ask the Smart Questions
Chapter 3 Brainstorming: Idea Vomit Is the Best Kind of Vomit
Chapter 4 Organization and Outlining: The Big O’s in Writing
Chapter 5 Critical Thinking: Put on Those Glasses
SECTION 2: Do the Thing
Chapter 6 Titles & Hooks: Reelin’ em In
Chapter 7 Intros, Conclusions, Transitions, & Topic Sentences: Those Pesky Formalities
Chapter 8 Thesis Statements: Argue Shit Worth Arguing
Chapter 9 Logical Fallacies: Avoiding Stupid Logic
Chapter 10 Syllogisms & Toulmin: Argument Math ( for the Science-y Types)
Chapter 11 Audience Awareness: How to Get WTF You Want
Chapter 12 Formal vs. Casual Voice: Just Be Yourself ... In a Different Hat
Chapter 13 Revision: A Shower for Your Writing
SECTION 3: Research Stuff
Chapter 14 Formatting: An Itchy Uniform for Your Essay
Chapter 15 Active Reading: Do It Like You Mean It
Chapter 16 Quotes: “That’s What She Said”
Chapter 17 Works Cited Pages: AKA the “Cover Your Ass” Page
Chapter 18 Plagiarism: Don’t Do It
SECTION 4: Bonus Track (Cheat Codes)
Chapter 19 College Advice: Working Smarter Not Miserably-er
Chapter 20 AI Writing: The End Is Near!
Chapter 21 Journaling: Writing for Sanity
Conclusion
Bibliography
Khimen
Cooper
Khimen Cooper has been teaching in higher education since 2011 and is currently a Professor of English in Dallas, Texas. Her specialties are Rhetoric and Children's/Young Adult Literature, but she also teaches a wide range of English courses, from developmental reading and writing to First-Year Composition, and higher-level Literature courses. She's especially interested in cross-disciplinary teaching and writing, often co-teaching with colleagues both within and outside of her own discipline. She has developed various courses that explore the connections between theories, concepts, and skills from different disciplines.