Finding Strength in Methodology: Confronting Trauma and Embracing Love for a Sibling with Severe Disabilities

Abstract

The following is a layered account of loving and leaving a sibling with severe mental disabilities. While traditional research ethics separate the researcher from the subject to ensure impartiality, autoethnographies treat the researcher as the subject and embrace personal narratives as worthy scholarship. I take readers through a nonlinear timeline of past and present experiences of trauma, stigma, and joy in being a big brother to someone who needs constant supervision and protection from himself. Although my experiences are not the norm, this story is woven with research from disability and stigma scholars that illuminate my world to let me know that I am not alone in this journey. In the spirit of reflexivity, I discuss my anxiety about not only opening up about my relationship with my brother but also my reluctance to use a criticized methodology like autoethnography.