Make Me Laugh, Make Me Listen: Using Humor to Accomplish Interpersonal Influence

Abstract

Interpersonal communication is the bedrock of human existence. Our happiness and success as social beings is a reflection of the quality and types of relationships we engage in. Our need to feel recognized, supported, comfortable, and grounded drives our goal to engage in interpersonal relationships. Using communication, we actively work to form and maintain stability through ongoing, strong, secure, connections (Baumeister & Leary, 1995; Fiske, 2010). Our psychological well being is, in part, a product of how connected or tethered we feel to others. This need for belonging is a core social motive that propels our pursuit of and involvement in close interpersonal relationships (Fiske, 2010). In other words, surface associations and interactions are not enough to establish a sense of belonging. Our ultimate goal is to sustain successful close interpersonal relationships. If we are lucky, throughout our lifetime we experience multiple significant close relationships constituted of friends, romantic partners, and families. Consistent across these contexts is a high degree of interdependence, a strong sense of commitment and intimacy, and a depth of shared social history. These qualities distinguish close relationships from acquaintances and casual relationships. Close partners rely on each other to accomplish shared relationship goals, and to recognize and appreciate what each person contributes to the relationship. Invested in the success of the relationship, they hold deep trust for one another. Finally, close partners possess a significant amount of social knowledge and insight about each other that serves as a lens for interpreting behavior and understanding relational dynamics.