The Making of an Orphan
Edition: 1
Copyright: 2023
Edition: 1
Copyright: 2023
Pages: 250
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This is a true story. From someone who existed in the belief that her worth and value were defined by how she looked or how others treated her. Someone who, as a young girl, swallowed the lies fed to her by those who were supposed to be her most trusted protectors. Someone whose world was turned upside down when the truth was revealed, and who found freedom in an unexpected way . . . and discovered she never had to live there again.
Dedication
Foreward
Acknowledgements
Introduction
Part One: The Lost Years
1- In the beginning
2- Hawaii
3- Crisfield
4- Norfolk
5- Return to Crisfield
6- Aberdeen
7- Wheaton
8- Summer in Crisfield
9- Rockville
10- Columbus
11- Columbus - My Awakening
12- Columbus - The Cup
13- Columbus - The End
14- Seattle
15- Seattle - Bad Company
16- The Rest of the Story
Part Two: Some Family History
17- Digging Deeper
18- The Unspoken
19- Family Secrets
20- Return to Rockville - The High School Years
Part Three: The Players
21- Ivy
22- Camellia
23-Lilly
24- Rose
25- Heather
26- Willow
27- Tim
28- Marty
29- Shang
30- "The Fruit Don't Fall Far from the Tree"
Epilogue
References
Resources
About the Author
Leslie T. Dean has been a registered nurse for forty-one years. She has served as a Behavioral Health Counselor, Psychiatric Nurse Manager, and Pastoral Counselor. Her first novel, Forgiven Much, has experienced continued success in counseling centers and Pregnancy Resource Centers across the country helping women find hope at the foot of the cross. She has counseled victims of abuse, codependency, and abortion for over thirty years.
Through continued study and healing in her own life, she has discovered the plague that intergenerational trauma passes into families. Because of her personal experience in this area, and through her many contacts, she has found that an epidemic number of people have experienced some form of abuse in their childhood. Consequently, they often suffer with poor self-image, depression, substance abuse, relational dysfunction, and worse, the generational passing of the abuse baton. Ms. Dean has dedicated her life to assisting others in untangling this web of deceit and lead them to a place of healing.
"Now is the time for this book as we are becoming a society that is acknowledging generational trauma. It can be difficult to connect the dots, and this story is not about finding blame or fault. It is about recognizing the hurt and pain from past generations, while taking responsibility for future generations. As a licensed professional counselor . . . I will refer The Making of an Orphan as a resource for healing."
Patricia Boyce, PsyD, LPCMH, NCC
"I related so much to this author. This book is beautifully written and is a very personal testimony. I understand what it's like to be the "IP" or "Identified Person." I finally had a name for this! Bringing light to the subject of this kind of abuse, neglect, and blame is so important and I am very thankful to have found this book. Reading it was, for me, very healing. I highly recommend it and I look forward to her next!"
Lisa McCulley
"This is a great book about a woman's upbringing through her teen years, how it affected her as an adult and how she healed and changed for the better. It brought up a lot of memories about my upbringing (in a good way), so can be emotional. Transparency: I know the author personally and we have talked about the book quite a bit. It helped me understand a lot about how and why I am the way I am as an adult, increasing my awareness of why I (re)act sometimes and how I affect others, causing me to make some positive changes. I highly recommend this book not because I know the author, but because it is very insightful and well written."
Manny
"The Making of an Orphan is a true Profile of Courage. Leslie Dean is so open and honest about her struggles and experiences. Through her story, she demonstrates how important it is to love, respect and value children. I would encourage everyone to get this book, because whether we are parents or not, we all have interacted with children in some way. In The Making of an Orphan, Leslie shows us that we need to be careful of what we say to and about the children in our lives."
Amy Fling
"Growing up, I was blessed to be raised in a family centered on Christ. I have known the love of Jesus for as long as I can remember. As a younger child, it always seemed to be such a strange idea that people would not know His love. in The Making of an Orphan, Ms. Dean shares about her childhood to young adult life, and gives experiences that she went through that may not be dissimilar to the lives and struggles of many around us today. Reading her story gave me a different perspective on someone who might have grown up without knowing the love of Jesus, and gave me a new heart-felt understanding for where they may have come from."
"I found reading "The Making of an Orphan" an insightful look into a child's young life through early adulthood. A child seeks to find the love, she so desperately wants from her parents. And this love, or maybe I should say approval, her parents are not capable of giving her. Because this love/approval is not available to her, we see her journey into a world of danger with no reward. Leslie T. Dean shows us the generational issues which continue to affect the relationships within her life. Read the book and maybe you can help understand issues in your own family or help others understand the issues they are having."
"If you haven’t read The Making of an Orphan, I highly recommend reading it. Leslie Dean, very courageously shares her story and gives us all something to think about when it comes to how we treat children in what we say to them and how we act towards them. Thank you for sharing your story, my friend. Can’t wait for the sequel!"
“I just finished reading this book and highly recommend it to everyone. I was reminded that we all must be mindful of how we treat and talk to children. All children deserve to be loved, valued, respected, and protected. Leslie Dean, thank you, my friend, for having the courage to share your story, proving that God does change messes into messages!”
“I bought the book at our White Sulphur Winter Retreat a few weeks ago and it is so real, so transparent and yet gently points to God who hears, cares, and makes a difference. Once I started reading I couldn’t stop and I often prayed for the different real life people it is about, for their healings, and asked God for where there were places I could relate to help me heal. This book is one of a kind! I highly, highly, highly recommend it to everyone. Even if it's not you at all, we all know people and young ones going through so much. It helps us to be more caring and alert to brokenness around us—to help—and the book gives such hope in the midst of darkness because there is a light and Father God for all who want it.”
“I have never read a book like "The Making of an Orphan". The author pours out her life story with such raw vulnerability and authenticity as she recalls the details of her traumatic and highly dysfunctional growing up years. This book is a must read for counselors and clients alike! There is so much for the reader to learn as you walk with her through the trauma, and see her resiliency and determination as she begins to heal.”
Robin Smith
“This book was written out of the depth and beauty of the author’s soul. Reading where she’s been only makes me admire her more and marvel at how God can use the hardest years of life to bring him glory and how he can redeem even the most hurting person. Highly recommend reading this book!”
Felecia Warfel
“The Making of an Orphan is a wonderfully insightful book. As a child and even an adult, until recently, I didn’t know how to interpret what I was seeing while growing up. The book helped me understand that my mother was in a verbal and emotionally abusive relationship with my father, that over the decades of marriage, she just couldn’t fight him anymore and had to withdraw for her own peace of mind. She tried so hard to protect me from him when I was growing up, but also had to live with him and be a wife. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I often resented her, even as an adult, for being silent when my father had a tirade against me. But through this book, I realized it was to protect herself. I recently had a heart-to- heart with my mom, now elderly, and let her know that I was really sorry about the way our relationship was because of my resentment, that I knew she always tried to protect me, but also had to keep the peace, for her own sanity, and that I understood how difficult it was for her all these years. I let her know that I always loved her. She was so appreciative that I let her know, just thanking me over and over during that conversation. What I didn’t expect was that a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The timing was perfect because I recently lost my mom after she suffered a bad fall. Our last days together were precious.”
This is a true story. From someone who existed in the belief that her worth and value were defined by how she looked or how others treated her. Someone who, as a young girl, swallowed the lies fed to her by those who were supposed to be her most trusted protectors. Someone whose world was turned upside down when the truth was revealed, and who found freedom in an unexpected way . . . and discovered she never had to live there again.
Dedication
Foreward
Acknowledgements
Introduction
Part One: The Lost Years
1- In the beginning
2- Hawaii
3- Crisfield
4- Norfolk
5- Return to Crisfield
6- Aberdeen
7- Wheaton
8- Summer in Crisfield
9- Rockville
10- Columbus
11- Columbus - My Awakening
12- Columbus - The Cup
13- Columbus - The End
14- Seattle
15- Seattle - Bad Company
16- The Rest of the Story
Part Two: Some Family History
17- Digging Deeper
18- The Unspoken
19- Family Secrets
20- Return to Rockville - The High School Years
Part Three: The Players
21- Ivy
22- Camellia
23-Lilly
24- Rose
25- Heather
26- Willow
27- Tim
28- Marty
29- Shang
30- "The Fruit Don't Fall Far from the Tree"
Epilogue
References
Resources
About the Author
Leslie T. Dean has been a registered nurse for forty-one years. She has served as a Behavioral Health Counselor, Psychiatric Nurse Manager, and Pastoral Counselor. Her first novel, Forgiven Much, has experienced continued success in counseling centers and Pregnancy Resource Centers across the country helping women find hope at the foot of the cross. She has counseled victims of abuse, codependency, and abortion for over thirty years.
Through continued study and healing in her own life, she has discovered the plague that intergenerational trauma passes into families. Because of her personal experience in this area, and through her many contacts, she has found that an epidemic number of people have experienced some form of abuse in their childhood. Consequently, they often suffer with poor self-image, depression, substance abuse, relational dysfunction, and worse, the generational passing of the abuse baton. Ms. Dean has dedicated her life to assisting others in untangling this web of deceit and lead them to a place of healing.
"Now is the time for this book as we are becoming a society that is acknowledging generational trauma. It can be difficult to connect the dots, and this story is not about finding blame or fault. It is about recognizing the hurt and pain from past generations, while taking responsibility for future generations. As a licensed professional counselor . . . I will refer The Making of an Orphan as a resource for healing."
Patricia Boyce, PsyD, LPCMH, NCC
"I related so much to this author. This book is beautifully written and is a very personal testimony. I understand what it's like to be the "IP" or "Identified Person." I finally had a name for this! Bringing light to the subject of this kind of abuse, neglect, and blame is so important and I am very thankful to have found this book. Reading it was, for me, very healing. I highly recommend it and I look forward to her next!"
Lisa McCulley
"This is a great book about a woman's upbringing through her teen years, how it affected her as an adult and how she healed and changed for the better. It brought up a lot of memories about my upbringing (in a good way), so can be emotional. Transparency: I know the author personally and we have talked about the book quite a bit. It helped me understand a lot about how and why I am the way I am as an adult, increasing my awareness of why I (re)act sometimes and how I affect others, causing me to make some positive changes. I highly recommend this book not because I know the author, but because it is very insightful and well written."
Manny
"The Making of an Orphan is a true Profile of Courage. Leslie Dean is so open and honest about her struggles and experiences. Through her story, she demonstrates how important it is to love, respect and value children. I would encourage everyone to get this book, because whether we are parents or not, we all have interacted with children in some way. In The Making of an Orphan, Leslie shows us that we need to be careful of what we say to and about the children in our lives."
Amy Fling
"Growing up, I was blessed to be raised in a family centered on Christ. I have known the love of Jesus for as long as I can remember. As a younger child, it always seemed to be such a strange idea that people would not know His love. in The Making of an Orphan, Ms. Dean shares about her childhood to young adult life, and gives experiences that she went through that may not be dissimilar to the lives and struggles of many around us today. Reading her story gave me a different perspective on someone who might have grown up without knowing the love of Jesus, and gave me a new heart-felt understanding for where they may have come from."
"I found reading "The Making of an Orphan" an insightful look into a child's young life through early adulthood. A child seeks to find the love, she so desperately wants from her parents. And this love, or maybe I should say approval, her parents are not capable of giving her. Because this love/approval is not available to her, we see her journey into a world of danger with no reward. Leslie T. Dean shows us the generational issues which continue to affect the relationships within her life. Read the book and maybe you can help understand issues in your own family or help others understand the issues they are having."
"If you haven’t read The Making of an Orphan, I highly recommend reading it. Leslie Dean, very courageously shares her story and gives us all something to think about when it comes to how we treat children in what we say to them and how we act towards them. Thank you for sharing your story, my friend. Can’t wait for the sequel!"
“I just finished reading this book and highly recommend it to everyone. I was reminded that we all must be mindful of how we treat and talk to children. All children deserve to be loved, valued, respected, and protected. Leslie Dean, thank you, my friend, for having the courage to share your story, proving that God does change messes into messages!”
“I bought the book at our White Sulphur Winter Retreat a few weeks ago and it is so real, so transparent and yet gently points to God who hears, cares, and makes a difference. Once I started reading I couldn’t stop and I often prayed for the different real life people it is about, for their healings, and asked God for where there were places I could relate to help me heal. This book is one of a kind! I highly, highly, highly recommend it to everyone. Even if it's not you at all, we all know people and young ones going through so much. It helps us to be more caring and alert to brokenness around us—to help—and the book gives such hope in the midst of darkness because there is a light and Father God for all who want it.”
“I have never read a book like "The Making of an Orphan". The author pours out her life story with such raw vulnerability and authenticity as she recalls the details of her traumatic and highly dysfunctional growing up years. This book is a must read for counselors and clients alike! There is so much for the reader to learn as you walk with her through the trauma, and see her resiliency and determination as she begins to heal.”
Robin Smith
“This book was written out of the depth and beauty of the author’s soul. Reading where she’s been only makes me admire her more and marvel at how God can use the hardest years of life to bring him glory and how he can redeem even the most hurting person. Highly recommend reading this book!”
Felecia Warfel
“The Making of an Orphan is a wonderfully insightful book. As a child and even an adult, until recently, I didn’t know how to interpret what I was seeing while growing up. The book helped me understand that my mother was in a verbal and emotionally abusive relationship with my father, that over the decades of marriage, she just couldn’t fight him anymore and had to withdraw for her own peace of mind. She tried so hard to protect me from him when I was growing up, but also had to live with him and be a wife. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I often resented her, even as an adult, for being silent when my father had a tirade against me. But through this book, I realized it was to protect herself. I recently had a heart-to- heart with my mom, now elderly, and let her know that I was really sorry about the way our relationship was because of my resentment, that I knew she always tried to protect me, but also had to keep the peace, for her own sanity, and that I understood how difficult it was for her all these years. I let her know that I always loved her. She was so appreciative that I let her know, just thanking me over and over during that conversation. What I didn’t expect was that a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The timing was perfect because I recently lost my mom after she suffered a bad fall. Our last days together were precious.”