Nonverbal Communication in Couple Conflict: An Application of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Abstract

When people think of “conflict,” they often imagine people arguing or countries at war. Conflict, however, is a broader concept. Hocker and Wilmot (2013) defined interpersonal conflict as “an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from others in achieving their goals” (p. 13). This type of conflict is inevitable in close relationships, with most couples having at least one disagreement per week (Canary et al., 1995). Conflict can be beneficial by helping people work out issues and grow together, or it can be destructive by creating animosity. John Gottman and his colleagues provided a framework, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, to better understand the types of communication that make conflict destructive (Lisitsa, 2013b). This chapter focuses on the nonverbal elements within —Laura K. Guerrero Arizona State University, United States of America —Anya Hommadova Lu Sam Houston State University, United States of America Contributed by Laura K. Guerrero and Anya Hommadova Lu. © Kendall Hunt Publishing Co. Nonverbal Communication in Couple Conflict An Application of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse this framework. First, we review the role of nonverbal communication in conflict, in general, and the four horsemen. Next, a case study is presented to illustrate these concepts in action during the dysfunctional conflict. Finally, this is followed by recommendations for using nonverbal communication to engage in more productive interpersonal conflict.