Thinking About Interpersonal Relationships and Social Penetration Theory: Is It the Same for Lesbian, Gay, or Bisexual People?

Abstract

Although no theory can eliminate every awkward moment, the theory that is the topic of this chapter, social penetration theory, can help to explain why what happened on the date described at the beginning of this chapter was so uncomfortable. Moreover, the theory helps to predict the outcome of the first-date conversation described by the woman there: that a relational partner—defined in this chapter as one of two or more people who interact in or with the potential for a relationship—decided to terminate future communication and stop the relationship development process. According to social penetration theory, relationships have four stages that people can go through as they become more intimate with each other (Altman & Taylor, 1973). Soon in this chapter, each of the four stages will be described and explained in detail. Although social penetration theory has four stages, in many relationships—such as the relationship in the story that opened this chapter—people do not go through all four stages to fully develop what they, or others, might call a relationship.