When and How Should I Tell? Disclosing Social Identity in Personal Relationships

Abstract

Jayla Brown sighed as she closed the door to her suite in the first-year students’ residence hall. She was relieved that her roommate Lisa wasn’t there; she could have some time to herself. Lisa was such a ball of energy that Jayla barely had time to hear herself think. But, that didn’t really bother Jayla because Lisa was a positive person and basically a sweet girl. So far, she had been a great roommate, especially compared to other roomies she’d heard about. Jayla plopped on her bed and began to reflect on her first two and a half months at Northeastern State University. She and Lisa had hit it off from the first day they moved in. They had so much in common it was crazy. They both were middle children, and had been on the honor rolls and the cheerleading squads at their high schools. Plus, they were raised in Christian households, although neither of them had gone to church since they came to NESU. They both had a sick sense of humor, which meant that they laughed a lot, and had similar taste in movies and TV shows. They even had the same favorite color: purple, which meant that their bedding and accessories complemented each other. In fact, they both had bought the exact same lavender desk set from Target! They each had gone with one guy during their last two years of high school, and had broken up with him right before coming to college. Most important of all, they both were reluctant pre-med majors, mainly because of parental pressure. Jayla was glad to have a roommate who really understood her ambivalence about becoming a doctor. Some days she knew that’s what she wanted to do; other days she wished she felt free to choose her career path. But her older sister Leila already had disappointed her folks by becoming a professor, and Jayla knew they were counting on her. The way things were going, she and Lisa might become best friends.