Who's the Parent Now? When Adult Children Become Caregivers for Parents

Abstract

When I was nine years old, I was very sick with mumps. I was miserable—achy, uncomfortable, and feverish. I couldn’t speak without strain and even swallowing was painful. I remember my mother sitting with me for hours on end. She rubbed my forehead with a cool washcloth to ease the fever and she stroked my swollen neck gently. Although I didn’t realize it then, mother was neglecting other things she’d planned to do in order to care for me. Perhaps she resented me (or my illness) for intruding on her plans; perhaps she felt frustrated at having to nurse me; perhaps she was worried about what she wasn’t getting done while she sat by my bedside. If so, she didn’t show those feelings. I never sensed any resentment as she sat patiently with me.