Yard Sales and Yellow Roses: Rituals in Enduring Relationships

Abstract

The back-and-forth motion of the porch swing brought comfort to Martha; she was feeling a bit exhausted from hauling boxes and cleaning out closets for their annual yard sale—a joint effort by her, Jack, and their kids to clean, purge, and simplify—and she was feeling both the stress of preparations and the relief from making good progress that day. As she and her partner Jack sat together on their front porch swing, she thought back to their first little house rented during graduate school.

It had been 26 years since they had married and sat on a porch swing very similar to the one now greeting visitors to their home. During their early years of marriage, they regularly sat on that creaky old swing late in the evening, stealing a few moments of peace after chaotic, packed days of studying and attending classes. Mundane talk about the events of the day, as well as dreams about their future, saturated such moments. Now, many years later, Martha and Jack used “porch-swing time” to reflect on the past, discuss their three grown children, and imagine the next chapter in their lives.